My "go-to-the-grave" experience was with a heckler. This is the example that fits within the classroom setting. He did not want to take the refresher course, and he showed this by taking every opportunity to cause interruptions, distractions and a flagrant unwillingness to participate in class activities. He consistently voiced how the class was for slow thinkers and slackers. In my attempt to overcome the situation and engage him on a positive level, I tried to give him the lead on group projects, and he became a dictator. I tried to engage him in class discussions, and he would accuse me of not knowing the information and that I needed him to provide it. Ignoring him only incited him to challenge me. Accepting the challenge only led him to question and attack my credibility. The only successful tactic I was able to come up with was to have my class monitored secretly. He was promptly fired. But that experience has haunted me because I believe I should have been able to resolve the issue myself. It has also left a backdrop of doubt about handling hecklers in the future. I have been told that I am oversensitive because of that previous situation. I know this to be true when I have had to train and develop (retail) associates. I immediately and with a heavy hand shut down anyone showing similarities to the previous culprit.
The other experiences and examples are not so problematic, but I've had learners in a retail settings attempt to undermine my knowledge, experience, and credibility. I have had associates spread negativity with statements such as "I can do a better job than she can", and "You're not the boss of me." These situations were not easily resolved, and they took time and effort away from my responsibilities as a manager. For example, one associate wrote a five-page letter to HR detailing my inability to be a leader. Of course, this was after I caught and disciplined her for falsifying her time card. The next associate reported that I hit her, and after my manager talked to me, she reported to him again that I was no longer talking to her. Both of these situations, in time, were seen as attempts to have me removed as their manager simply because I brought leadership, adherence to the company policies and swift disciplinary actions. In the end, I learned how to resolve these issues and concerns without internalizing the personal attacks because these associates would have instigated this type of disorder with anyone of authority.
Oh my, Virginia, what a rough way to go! I think it sounds like you did everything you could to deal with the original heckler in your class. But I honestly think that some people cannot be reasoned with and will take every opportunity to engage in some kind of power play. Eventually we have to stop being just the facilitator & start protecting ourselves as human beings. No one deserves to be treated like that, in any setting.
ReplyDeleteI hope that in time you forget about the situation because it really does sound like you did all that you could do. You gave him ample opportunity to productively engage in the class and he refused. People choose the path they follow and often ignore every off-ramp they are provided to change course. He chose not to. He chose his actions, and therefore he chose his consequences. That's all on him.
I think the only way you could have had a different outcome was if you'd had a magic wand. I'm guessing you don't (I broke my only one over someone's head last year & they won't issue me another!). Since there was no magic wand to be found, the next best thing is a "magic pink slip".
Look at the bright side, I'm betting he won't do that again. Or he will, and he'll just keep getting fired until he's learned his lesson.
You did a good job, Virginia, whether you feel you did or not. As for being to heavy handed right now, maybe try to lighten up just a bit with total confidence in your ability to shut someone down if need be.